I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
