Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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