Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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