We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize