sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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