Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
