I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
