hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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