Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What drink are we having for lunch?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
COCAINE IS GR8
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
