Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
