if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
