last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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