it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
