he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
