Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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