hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
