everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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