Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
