I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
