You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
