id be glad to
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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