hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
