Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
