the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
