In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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