Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
