But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
