I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
