I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
