we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
