If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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