no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
