bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
