i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
