what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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