dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
