No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't want my vagina anymore.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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