Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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