The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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