Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
