After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
