Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I stole a fireplace last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
