Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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