I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
