i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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