please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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