I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
