I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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