I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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