whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
